Thomas has a Question
It had been a wild week. Freedom was traveling for several weeks, and I was determined to host the Y’ALL (Young Adult Life & Leadership) group at our house. It had been a rough week, and yet I knew that I didn’t want more time to pass between meetings. Y’ALL is our monthly gathering for older teens and early 20s, which meets at our house. Hosting it is no small feat. We usually think there will be about 7 people coming, and end up with about 12 to 15. The meeting is pretty long, as some kids come from the outskirts of Quito, and it includes a meal. The idea is that it is long enough for it to be worth the travel, and it should have a meal because it is so long.
I had spent the previous day cleaning with Kayla’s help and several days planning the lesson, putting the worship songs in order, and the only thing left was cooking. However, it is easier said than done. I was still wrapping things up right up to the last minute, and, thankfully, the food turned out decent. This group is mostly bilingual, and the lesson is given in English, with some translation. To be very honest, I am always nervous. It just doesn’t get easier. I have heard it said that pastors and speakers do get stage fright, and that is a comfort. This is just a home group, after all. Let me share a little bit more about myself. My 8-year-old self (yes, even my teen self) would hide in my room whenever, in rare moments, my mother had any guests. You could say I had social anxiety. With Freedom gone, I felt it even more.
I ran an ice breaker and was pleased to see that the kids just wanted a reason to converse. By now, I know these precious souls well. I know that about half of them also suffer from social angst and timidity. After the meal, I mustered up the courage to break up the Uno games and bring everyone to the living room. That night, the living room was full and all eyes were on me. As nervous as I had been, the topic was so dear to my heart, and I forgot about myself. We spoke of Thomas, the one who doubted. We talked about the desire to know, to really know that God is there. We talked about the invitation Thomas received, and what an honor.
“Put your finger here. Look at my hands. Put your hand here in my side. Stop doubting and believe.” John 20:27
“Have you ever thought about it?” I asked. “Thomas was invited to enter his wounds.”
It was palpable, the desire to know God more. We often see Thomas’ questions as a negative thing. And yet the Son of God saw this as an invitation for more intimacy and growth for Thomas. He called him out, not to humiliate him, but to say, “Here I Am, Thomas. I am not surprised by your questions. And I want you to see and believe.”
We eventually talked about getting scrapes, cuts, and scars, and did a little Scar Show and Tell, which brought some laughter. I happen to have a huge scar on my forehead!
When the lesson came to a close, the question arose, “When you enter into the wounds of Christ, it means you enter into an intimate place. Would you now allow the Lord to enter into your deepest wound?” It was as if a mic dropped. This was nowhere in my notes, and it seemed that it was a question from the Holy Spirit. There was a weighty silence. I felt it was a precious moment. With the question lingering in the air, I knew that we didn’t need to answer out loud; it was time to talk to God. We started our worship time, where we could ponder these things.
After the night was over, I kept thinking about it. How close to His own heart are our broken hearts? Even our doubts don’t push him away or draw us farther from His reach. I was marveling at the faithfulness of Christ when a friend started texting me. She had recently survived a bicycle crash in which she needed plastic surgery to reconstruct her nose; this happened in the same month that she lost her father. I decided to encourage her with the same words from our small group. And it was a full circle, we enter his wounds and are healed because we find out that he was willing to enter our wounds, doubts, and fears, to answer our deepest need.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
As always, we are grateful for your support and prayers,